Riding the Fall

                 

Since December 28th all that my days were filled with were home. I cocooned myself in my wombish warm home ...well until my siblings emotionally cornered me out. It was the 9th of January, out of the warmth and into the icy road (snow that looked as if someone had deliberately patted down and smoothed for extra slip factor)...oui, this is when I took possibly the second worst fall I have taken in my adult life, right there in the middle of the road where a car would have nicely ended my life. I'm allowed to be melodramatic (even though it was more a close than a road) my right arm, right leg and right back are still moaning with pain.

I can remember the little dance I did with the ice before my downward motion. A little slip at first 'oooo', then some fancy footwork 'aaaaaaa', then the hands were out for some kind of aero dynamic support, the little squeal came, then forward...oops too forward, then back...arms flapping wildly like an enraged swan. Then ultimately CRASH BANG WALLOP que scream. I was wearing my pvc riding boots, because wellingtons are not sexy enough. It has bright pink insulating lining so they are definitely warmer than wellies but I discovered that day they have no real practicality in walking on icy surfaces - except, however, to make the fall more handsome. This is when you physically pay for aesthetic.  Even my poor rabbit jacket received a hole in the back...truly indicative of how tragically funny my fall was, only I wasn't laughing but you may have. If only I was wearing padded panties!

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Red Riding

Oui oui oui Me Me got new boots and has worn them three days in a row. So what? I'm the new Pocahontas only I'm African with shorter hair, darker skin and an English tongue. Oui, I do have a cow skin pouch that she would have probably made from a live cow (I got mine in Thailand), sure, but I have a red scooter that matches my red dress and I've moved up the Disney scale to a contemporary little red riding hood (I mean dress). How superficial do I sound? Guy in the back says 'extremely'. I stick out my tongue to him. BUT, I must confess I don't and never have owned a scooter, let alone this one. Just the red dress...You see, I'm simply guilty of seeing a red scooter and jumping on it to take pictures! I'm amused to think what the owner would do knowing I was all on his or her beauty of a scooty, spreading myself like Pocahontas (with a twist) jam to take pictures and making my boss the photographer. In fact, I'm more than amused, I deserve an ASBO!
 
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